Atheists, too, must sneeze

As mentioned in my last and most recent post, I recently rejoined the ranks of the working, piloting my desk, computer, and phone to new heights of time wasting and getting paid to fold origami while I talk to various people on the phone..... Yes, I work in a cube. Yes, I have 5 other people in nearby cubes. There are various plants on desks, and an air conditioning system that works like crazy to make my days as freezingly cold as possible. (Yes, I know freezingly is not a real world...)Whether it be the people, the plants, or the ridiculous AC, I find myself sneezing at least 4 or 5 times a day at my desk.

Usually, I reach for a tissue right as I'm about to sneeze, and afterwards, much in the way you might pardon yourself if you'd just hacked and coughed for a few moments, I am in the habit of saying, "Excuse me."

Normally, I don't have an issue with this. My significant other and I lead a nice quiet life, and when one of us sneezes, we either don't say anything at all, or we say, "Excuse me."
Now, I find myself being bombarded by the blessings of their god not once, not twice, but by at least three times. There are three separate people who immediately shout out, "God bless you!" every time I sneeze. Even if it's twice, thrice, or even four times in a row, there's a man who will spout out the blessing for each individual sneeze.

Don't get me wrong here. I enjoy the company of my cube mates very much. I was indeed lucky to be placed on such a fine team at my new place of employment. I also understand that they are merely performing in a way that they believe to be polite.

It does, however, get me thinking every time it happens. Sneezing is a physical process, much like coughing. Both processes generally involve something foreign or out of place in your body, and your body is simply trying to correct the situation. However, if I were to stand next to you, cough a couple times, and not say, "Oh, my. Pardon me," I would be performing in a generally rude fashion. But if I sneeze! Ho, ho! Now you must not only forgive the fact that I've released several airborne particles into your general vicinity, but you feel the need to wish the blessings of your deity upon me?

All in all, the practice weirds me out more than it offends me. Yes, I still excuse myself, and I do thank my coworkers for their kind wishes. I understand that it's done with good intent. No, my soul is not trying to escape through my nose.

What does really get to me after days and weeks of being constantly 'blessed' is the all around pervasiveness of the Christian faith. Not only this, but the particular in-your-face pervasiveness of American Christians. If you sneeze in Germany or Italy, you're not blessed, but instead wished good health, a nod to the fact that the underlying cause of a sneeze is something bodily, and might mean the onset of exposure or the consumption, or perhaps even the common cold. In America, however, it seems that 'God' is in my face all the time. If you'll pardon my slang, he/she/it is all up in my grille. (I honestly couldn't resist that...) Spirituality is, in my humble opinion, something that should be personal, private, or at the very least, confined to gigantic super churches with your closest 500 friends. There is no need for your religion to affect my life, and vice versa, there is no reason my lack of religion should affect yours.

This is something I have never understood about the christian faith, even when I considered myself a part of that faith. Spirituality, even if you don't consider it to be something that should be kept private, there has to be a major portion of it that is private. (And if there isn't, then...... I'm a lot more terrified of Christians as I initially thought...) If I remember correctly from my christian tenure, most of it is centered around a concern for the eternal disposition of your soul. What I've never understood is this overwhelming need to be concerned, not only for your christian soul, but for my soul as well. Is your own soul not important enough to keep you occupied? Can you not be satisfied knowing that your own place in heaven is secure? Why does my place there need to be a concern of yours? If I understand the concept of heaven proper, if you wanted me there, there would be some manifestation of me there.

This is a complaint that I know can swing back the other way and hit me right in the ass. My biggest general human population complaint, which goes into full blown shouting road rage while driving the streets of Phoenix, AZ, is that everyone is so fucking concerned with their own lives and where they need to be that they endanger my life in the process. However, the one place in my life that I wish everyone would just concentrate on their own shit is religion. I'm not broadcasting my atheism or trying to convert the believers to nonbelievers so that our blood can flow through the streets and rivers. Please leave the fate of my eternal soul to my own doing.

And please stop blessing me for releasing my germs and spit into the air around your face.

The Lost Atheist

Once, during a long hot summer, I was unemployed, and in my lonely night hours, I decided to put my atheistic thoughts and feelings into a deep and meaningful blog, perhaps recording years of my experiences as a maturing free thinker... Then I got a job, and somehow completely lost track of the project. Instead, I found myself with new people to talk to, and to rant to, and to generally have long meaningful conversations with. And then, one sunny afternoon, I came home to find my significant other in front of the computer, excited to tell me about his new blog.

"Wait one second," I thought to myself, "I, too, have a blog. Whatever happened to that old thing?"

Lo! And behold! Here is was, waiting for me! With a comment! And followers?! Wow, I must be a huge disappointment to them. Terribly sorry, folks. I do intend to do better in the near future.

So, once more, the little, lost atheist is found again, so to be tucked safe and sound in wrapping text of indignity and self righteousness. I can't wait!